This isn't funny. So why am I laughing?

Is it ever ok to use humour when the topic is serious?

am&co Communication Coach Charlotte Shipman, gives us her take.

I'm sitting next to strangers learning about how our kids will be exposed to pornography, sexual predators, and horrifically violent content online.

One in four children will have seen porn by age 12. Rough sex is now normalised. How tos on self harm are all just a scroll away.

So why am I laughing?

Guiding us through this labyrinth of everything you hoped they'd never find is Jo Robertson. She's a therapist with 20 years' experience in sexual health, relationships, child development and sexual trauma. She’s also a masterful communicator.

The topics are serious but it's her tone and delivery that keep us all in the room rather than straight to smashing the wi-fi router.

And some of what she’s sharing is funny. When Jo introduces herself she explains her Masters dissertation focussed on pornography. Her mother-in-law asked pleadingly, "What should I tell my friends you're doing?" Her reply: "The truth?" The response: "No."

We all laughed. You felt the tension melt in the room.

Should I use humour?

Are you funny? My kids would say I'm not, but I've been known to crack a few smiles in a pretty tense training room.

At am&co, we help people communicate their ideas and their work confidently and in a way that people understand and remember. Often our clients reveal to us, “Oh you wouldn’t recognise me at a dinner party, I’m a completely different person.” So why doesn’t your audience get to see that side of you?

If humour is a part of how you communicate day-to-day, then absolutely use it.

There are ways to weave that lightness in so it feels like you — and still honours the seriousness of the subject.

There’s even research backing this up: humour tied directly to the material helps it land and stick. But be warned, off-topic jokes don't do the same work. So make it relevant, not random.

What's a no-go?

It’s not funny if it’s racist, sexist or offensive.

Don’t make a joke at someone else's expense or belittle their experience.  And think hard if you’re making yourself the punchline. Kiwis are notoriously self-deprecating but consider, is it creating a connection and making you relatable - or is it undermining your expertise and experience?

Test it

Try it out before you get in the room. If it feels like you, use it. That room is craving connection. The more you bring of yourself to it, the better.